Today, you are probably watching Olivia Pope and her quivering lip strut
her stuff at the White House, barking orders like she owns the place.
PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
Happy Easter, good people. I know most of you are “lying in
state” today as you recover from last night’s over indulgence
celebrating the fact that Jesus Christ died for you.
Right
now, the only spirit working in your life is that with a high alcohol
content, and you will “resurrect” after three days so that you can sleep
in on Monday, ready for Tuesday.
Come
Tuesday, you will all be complaining how it feels like Monday and wish
that Easter were longer. I have said before that Kenyans do everything
but rest when they are on holiday.
When
I was growing up, Easter was a time to watch “Jesus Christ” movies
detailing His death and resurrection. KBC was the only entertainment for
many and boy, did it rock!
Olivia Pope
Today,
you are probably watching Olivia Pope and her quivering lip strut her
stuff at the White House, barking orders like she owns the place.
Speaking of Olivia Pope, also known as the patron saint of side chicks,
are there mpango wa kandos in our country with that much power?
You walk into your lover’s home and start ordering people around? That is the miracle of Easter.
If
you are done with Olivia walking like she is trying to avoid walking
into puddles on her path, you are probably looking for a “nyama” plan
with your friends. End month was just last week so Nairobi accounts are
busy.
If you were keen yesterday,
you might have seen many ATMs were out of order, not for lack of money,
but over heating because every second Nairobian was punching in to
withdraw money that they will wish they hadn’t next week.
These
days out-of-town plans are the in-thing, a chance for Nairobians to
export their loud mouths and show off their skills of sitting on top of
cars as they imbibe expensive alcohol that took 15 people to buy. Image
people.
The only conversation happening right now is not about Jesus, but the second coming of Barack Obama.
One would think he will go door to door shaking every Kenyan’s hand and thanking them for being the reason he became president.
I
read that the Kisumu governor insists that the US president must visit
his grandmother. If he makes that “mistake”, American media will have
fodder for generations.
First, he
will find like 1 million people waiting on him calling him “kasiiin” and
asking him what he brought for them from the US. He will find
relatives who, not even his grandmother knows where they have been for
the last five years waiting for him.
They
will want to talk to Michelle Obama and ask her why he hasn’t given
their son a “rightful” heir, never mind that she has two gorgeous girls
who can do that.
I remember when he became president and every drunk man talked about how he needs a son.
Anyway,
the second coming of Obama will be a spectacle to behold. There will be
people who will show up thinking they will get a chance to tell him how
they want their kids to go work for him in the US.
This
happens in every rural area in Kenya. You show up and before you know
it, everybody who shakes your grandmother’s hand in church wants to know
if you can take their child with you back to the city and get them work
with the Ministry of Health, where don’t even know the guard.
For
those who have been forced to stepped aside, you’d better be in church
asking that when Jesus resurrects, your files will be buried so deep
that you will be asked to step back in. But just like Jesus did, carry
your own cross.
Happy Easter.
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