How that pregnancy affects the man also

 

You might have been asked this before but I’m still keen on knowing if men also develop cravings when their partners fall pregnant”

By FRANK NJENGA
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SUMMARY

• Several men with this condition show changes of early pregnancy, such as mood swings, nausea, bloating, and weight gain.
• It is postulated that some of these changes take place alongside certain hormonal changes in the man, including the lowering of the male hormone, testosterone.
• Reduced levels of this hormone make men more caring, less aggressive and more nurturing in preparation for their future roles of parenthood.

Put this way, the answer below will enable us to look at the reaction of men to pregnancy, and not just the physical challenges that come during this most interesting time for both parents to be but a few less obvious changes.

In this regard, and as you will see below, changes that take place in one also tend to affect the other.

The first consideration is important to the reaction of most men. Was this pregnancy planned? Or was it an accident. Many young men (and women) are caught by surprise and some go into states of panic associated with difficulties in the relationship.

For example, the young man might accuse the now mother to be of double dealing and he might deny that he is the father of the baby! Others accuse the girl of trapping them so that marriage can take place, while still others say they are not ready for a serious relationship.

So, depending on the nature of the relationship and the circumstances in which the conception takes place, the man will be affected one way or the other.

Another factor worth considering here is whether this is a first or say sixth time of being a father. For the first time father, youth, ignorance fear and hope often come together to create a most challenging social and psychological environment.

For the man going through the sixth pregnancy, the attitude is one of one who has seen it all before, and the drama of the first-time father would at best be a bit of an irritant to the experienced man.

The other often forgotten fact is that of the difficulty of conception. When a couple come together and plan to have a child, the assumption is that pregnancy will take place with ease and that this is simply natural.

For some couples, years come and go without the magic of pregnancy, and the result is great anxiety to both. When pregnancy then happens, there is much happiness and anxiety, generated all around.

This then becomes a very precious pregnancy, and the parents often must live with the whole pregnancy with much anxiety.

This same scenario is true, in the event of a couple who have gone through multiple miscarriages. In some cases, the woman is blamed by the in laws of being barren. At other times, no pregnancy takes place because of male infertility.

Turning back and closer to your original question, the answer is yes, that certain physical changes take place in the father to be. The condition is called couvade, or sympathetic pregnancy.

Several men with this condition show changes of early pregnancy, such as mood swings, nausea, bloating, and weight gain. It is postulated that some of these changes take place alongside certain hormonal changes in the man, including the lowering of the male hormone, testosterone.

Reduced levels of this hormone make men more caring, less aggressive and more nurturing in preparation for their future roles of parenthood. This, however, is only the biological/physical part.

Psychologically, other changes make themselves evident. Some men feel that they have in some way or other done some harm to their partners.

Some feel they have damaged the beautiful girl they married who has now become a rounded object that is incapable of controlling her moods. One day she is all happy and joyful, and the next she is all tears. Many men feel this guilt in a real way.

Some men find their wives have changed and are no longer sexually attractive. In such cases, they become just mothers and no longer the lovely sexual partners they used to be.

Other men get into situations of self-doubt. Is this the right time for this pregnancy or could we perhaps have waited until financial security was granted? What are financial implications of fatherhood and are we ready for them?

Others wonder if they will ever become good fathers, or might they be say, like their own fathers who abandoned their children at an early age.

That, however, is the beginning of the problems. When the child is born, the father is relegated to the third division of affection, not just by the wife he loves, but by the society around him.

The mother and the baby become the centres of attention and affection. Other things such as many nights without sleep sometimes lead men to states of frustration, self-doubt and anger. Pregnancy does lead to many challenges to the father to be.