Noose, Suicide Avoid suicide, murder by sharing your marital problems

Young people should learn to open up on marital problems

noose

File | Nation Media Group

By  Stephanie Njeri

What you need to know:

• Very few people are sparing a thought for the jilted lover who takes his own life after losing his soul mate to a rival.
• Most people think that the men and women who commit these crimes are cowards.

If you follow news like I do, you will agree with me that reports of lovers killing each other have become a daily occurrence. It is no longer shocking that a man has slaughtered his entire family after falling out with his wife.

Very few people are sparing a thought for the jilted lover who takes his own life after losing his soul mate to a rival.

Most people think that the men and women who commit these crimes are cowards but let’s take time and look at these cases from their point of view.

When two people come together and decide to fall in love, there are expectations like loyalty, trust and commitment.

These expectations drive lovers to invest in relationships and love — including time, energy and money. Some men and women do crazy things in the name of love, including selling family possessions and giving away fortunes.

When a partner makes you do such things and goes ahead to break the promises of love, many find it difficult to forgive.

Talking to others 

Mature couples try to forgive and forget but the problem is young people who get married in their 20s. Members of this generation think they can escape reality by keeping problems to themselves.

They do not believe in opening up to friends, family or therapist, and instead embrace stress, which later turns into depression or boils over in the form of murder and familicide.

And that is where we are going wrong. A problem shared is a problem half solved. Cases of people slaughtering each other will reduce greatly if we all learned to talk to others about our pains and heartbreaks.

If you don’t trust your family, talk to a friend. If your friends will gossip about your issues, talk to a religious leader.

If these two are not viable options for you, talk to a counsellor or therapist. The options are endless because online, there are virtual counselling services by anonymous experts.

Clearly, no one has a reason to kill another person in the name of love because that is not love.

Stephanie Njeri, 19, communication and media student at Chuka University.

Are you aged 10-20 and would like to be Nation’s young reporter? Email your 400-600-word article to diversity@ke.nationmedia.com