Hi Brenda,
I’ve
been married for slightly over ten years and when we started out, my
husband had nothing to his name. Things improved financially over the
years and he provides for me and our four children to the point of
spoiling us but he is also a serial cheater. I have evidence for some of
his trysts and some
evidence is just intuitional. As a woman, you
always know when something is not right. His friends have also seen him
with different women but he has never admitted to it. I have now taken
to avoiding friends who know his cheating ways. I have a job and could
move out but it would mean a lower standard of life for my children. I
have been thinking on just leaving then dropping by once in a while to
check on them. Help me think this through, please.
I'm
so sorry for this idiot you have to put up with. That being said, it
doesn't sound like cheating is what is going to end your marriage,
seeing as you've known about it for this long and are even willing to
cut off your friends – your support system – to continue in this
quagmire of potential STDs.
Your friends are the ones who would help you pay your rent if you ever did leave, and yet, here you are, burning the bridges.
Listen,
either you leave and start out life on your own with your kids, in
which case you will need to file for alimony so you can maintain the
kids in a manner they're accustomed to, in which case you need to find
proof of his infidelity for the court so that you're not the one paying
for his transgressions, yes?
Or,
stay, and button down as you gradually become more and more unhappy
with the knowledge of what he's doing and you snap, setting the house on
fire with him inside and no plan.
Either way, you need a plan to leave or a plan to find sanity before you kill someone.
***
Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: lifeanstyle@ke.nationmedia.com
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