I identified with the article you
had recently on post-surgery depression. I had my uterus removed due to
constant pain I had some time back. These days I sometimes wonder what
this means for my life. I don’t really feel depressed because the pain
is what used to depress me before the operation. But there is still that
lingering feeling that I am missing something. Could it be that I have
not accepted my situation?
****
Many
years ago as a young doctor, I made an error in judgment that haunted
me for many years. I later forgave myself because at the time of the
error I was, like my peers, blessed with much medical knowledge but
without wisdom. The enthusiasm of youth led to much regret and self
pity.
A 42-year-old woman came to hospital with
symptoms of irregular, heavy periods. My view was as simple as it was
clear. I argued that because she had two children, then she must get rid
of the uterus that caused her the trouble every month without any
potential benefit.
My view was that at her age, the
uterus was like an appendix and could be removed easily, quickly and
without any further thought. Strictly speaking I was right from a
medical point of view, but as I was to find out later, the uterus
belonged to a human being who had feelings (strong feelings, it turned
out) about her uterus. In this respect she must have been like you.
A
senior female doctor put me in my place when she explained the fact
that the uterus is NOT like the appendix and has a role, beyond being an
organ of reproduction. It is indeed, the organ that every month reminds
the woman of her womanhood. Without it, some women (like you perhaps)
experience a hollow feeling that is difficult to describe. This lesson
led me to look back at the organ (uterus) and the role it has played in
medical history.
As I was to find out, there are other
equally interesting facts about the uterus. It was for example, believed
that hysterical behaviour was caused by the wondering of the womb
within the body.
If, for example, the womb moved to the mouth, then the
woman would be unable to talk. If it went to the ear, then she could not
hear. If it went to the legs, then she could not walk, and so on.
Although
many believe that Sigmund Freud was the initiator of the theory of the
movement of the womb to cause ill health, the ancient Greeks had already
established that a wondering womb causes suffocation.
As
a medical student, we were taught how to treat hysteria. When girls
(the condition is more common in women) presented with paralysis of one
or other limb, and when we determined that this was indeed a case of
hysteria, the teaching was that we soak cotton wool in ammonia, and
cause the patient to take a breath of the ammonia.
Almost
without fail, the paralysis would be “cured”; the girl would get up and
amid the applause of parents, teachers and other bystanders, we the
medical students would bask in the glory of major achievement. This was
bad medical practice. It treated the symptom without addressing the real
cause of the hysteria. Our teacher got it wrong on this one.
This
type of treatment for hysteria (now called Conversion disorder) is
simply wrong and could lead to serious harm to the patient as it fails
to address the true cause of the hysteria.
The truth is
that, what for the last 2,000 years was thought to be a movement of the
uterus in the body is in fact a way of expressing distress. Hysterical
behaviour is simply a statement of distress by the patient. It is NOT a
way of manipulating parents or teachers as was thought in my days as a
medical student. A few examples will make this point clear.
A
girl asked for sexual favours by a teacher will lose her voice in fear
of telling her mother about the trauma. The girl is unable to talk about
her experience because of fear of the consequences she might face.
A
person doing badly in class will claim inability to hear just as a
person afraid of dogs on the way to work will be unable to walk. It is
the fear of exams or the dogs that is converted to the “paralysis” that
is then seen by the doctor.
Freud and the Greeks before
him gave the uterus this very special status in the human body, perhaps
in recognition of its primacy and significance to women in general.
As
you can see, the uterus is not a simple organ of reproduction. Its true
meaning and significance to the woman is both deep and personal.
Yours is not a simple case of “imagining to be missing something”. It
is a real feeling of loss, which you may wish to discuss with an expert.
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