Why you must blow your own trumpet to get ahead in life

Your talents are precious gifts and it it perfectly okay to blow your horn about them. PHOTO | FOTOSEARCH 

By SERAPHINE RULIGIRWA-KAMARA

John: “That is a beautiful dress, Christine!”

Christine: “Oh this old thing? You should know I bought it at only two hundred shillings at the market”

Let’s try this again.

Christine: “You did a great job on your presentation earlier, John!”

John: “Really? I quickly put it together last night. I didn’t have all the facts and Tony was supposed to let me have the last quarter figures but...” Read: ramble, ramble, ramble.

Two words; “Thank you”.

That is all that is required out of you on receiving a compliment. Sadly, it is not uncommon to compliment a person only to have him or her deflect your kind words.

We are not taught to talk about ourselves or enjoy being the centre of attention. We are completely discouraged from talking about ourselves. Hogging the lime-light is frowned upon as an arrogant act that only inconsiderate self-absorbed people engage in.

It starts from a very early age. Mothers discourage guests from complimenting their pretty little daughters on their cute looks on the premise that it will “ get to their heads” while young boys are rarely encouraged.

They are men in the making. They are supposed to be tough and manly - devoid of the need for frequent praise. So most of us grow up not knowing what to do with compliments.

Talking about ourselves is a daunting task for many people. Ask a person to tell you about him or herself and their first response is to stall on the question.

“Me?” “What would you like to know about me?”. That is a question, not a reply. Yes, you and not the wall behind you. I find you interesting and I would like to know more about you.

“I am Christine Ahmed. I help organisations retain and grow their businesses by providing exceptional service by providing great service as a customer relationship manager”.

That’s a much better response. Now I know you and your strengths and will likely think of you when I learn of greater opportunities in your line of work.

A large part of professional maturity is learning that speaking about oneself is a prerequisite to success in any industry.

One of the first exercises I make clients undertake is to enthusiastically speak about themselves. The operative word here is “themselves”, not the companies they work for.

The point is to ensure that one is able to stand on the strength of their knowledge, abilities and experience without leaning heavily on the strength of the his/employer’s name.

I am not suggesting that you start harping on about how great you are at every opportunity. Quite the contrary.

While everyone has a responsibility to take care of their own confidence levels, you do not want those who have some confidence improvement to do feeling inadequate around you.

That said, refusing to graciously accept compliments is very rude. The more serious transgression against yourself is not speaking about yourself. It is a near crime against humanity.

If others do not know about you and how great your work and service are, they cannot possibly take the opportunity to experience your unique offering. This is a great disservice to the market in which you operate.

Know that you possess your talents for the purpose of providing services for the greater good which in turn creates benefit for yourself.

Without that no one enjoys your service enough to pay you for it. What a shameful waste of your abilities. How ungrateful can you be to your maker for the abilities that you posses?

Take me for example; the reason I run this weekly column is to talk about myself. I may not be very direct but I talk about myself all the same. I write on matters that serve to improve your personal and professional progression.

Through my articles, I let you know that I am not in the selling business because the proof approach that I employ works best.

By writing about the challenging scenarios that you face on a regular basis, I show you that I have the skill, the expertise and the experience to help you become a winning leader.

This way, you know what I bring to the table, you email to compliment me on my writing. I not only graciously thank you for your kind words but go on to tell you more about myself and my programmes.

You engage and pay me, I work with you to help you grow, you indeed grow and prosper, everybody is served.

I don’t know of a better description of a win-win situation than that. And think that all that good wouldn’t happen if I didn’t talk about myself in the first place.

Tell the world about yourself. It is the best way to serve and be commensurately remunerated. You’re welcome to start with me.