Never mistreat family when you become rich

The trouble with this work scenario is that in the event that things don’t work, you lose all. PHOTO | BD GRAPHIC 

By DR FRANK NJENGA

In Summary

• Much as you should have done before leaving employment, you must now take time off to consider what options are before you.

Six years ago, I left my job as an accountant with a Nairobi firm hoping to start my own business. We partnered with my brother-in-law and another friend.

We got good clients and our firm thrived until I started experiencing some marital problems. My brother-in-law sided with his sister, which is natural, I guess, and we had a bitter fall-out. Luckily, we resolved the marital issues but I have lost respect of my business partner - and my wife insists that we sit down and thrash out our differences.

I feel like a man in a detention camp and I need a way out.

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As a child I was told, and later read the story of a man, his son, and their donkey. If you remember the story, a man and his son were travelling together when they met a stranger.

The stranger wondered why the donkey was walking without any baggage while the man and his son were walking and getting tired.
He suggested that the older person get on the donkey. That done, the journey continued until they met the second stranger who suggested that both the young and older person can be carried by the donkey. The younger man got on the donkey and all seemed to be going well.

Just before they got to a river crossing, a third stranger noticed that the poor beast of burden was exhausted and offered the opinion that the man and his son should now carry the donkey. On accepting this third piece of advice, they attempt to cross the river with the donkey on their backs. Both drowned and the donkey lived to tell the story.

Your question reminds me of this story and it is possible that you have received too many opinions on how to deal with your life. None seems to have added value to your life. I hope mine is different. If not, it is possible you are an unlucky man.

For starters, who advised you to leave your job six years ago? Was it your wife, her brother or another friend?

What plans did you put in place to prepare yourself for the world of doing business? Indeed, what was the reason and strategy of setting out into the business world?

Just because you are a good accountant does not mean you can be a good business person. It is sometimes possible that being an accountant could stand in the way of your taking business decisions.

A true business person uses professionals for advice, but at the end of the day, the risks are his. A good accountant cannot replace the business person.

So, who was the business person in your set up? If it was you, there it is the possibility that you did not make the right decision when you left employment six years ago. You might have been better off staying in the safety of employment.

You do not tell us what really happened between you and your wife. What was the true cause of what you call marital problems and in what ways did your “thriving business” contribute to your domestic problems?

Some people, upon making a few million shillings, become disconnected from their families. They feel rich and consider themselves different from their peers. They seek the company of the famous rich, join clubs they can ill afford, and spend a great deal of time and energy following richer men in search of “deals”. Some are simply corrupt deals.