A 41-year-old Briton was recently arrested on suspicion of
causing the death of his 22-year-old Kenyan girlfriend, after he
reportedly flushed her diabetes medication down the toilet.
Carl Singleton, who was later released, met Peris Agumbi, a student at the University of Nairobi, on Facebook.
It
was reported that a few days before her death, Peris had reported Carl
to the police for allegedly assaulting her. She also told them that he
had flushed her medication down the toilet. Days later, she fell ill and
was taken to hospital, where she was diagnosed with diabetic
hypertension and respiratory failure. Peris died while undergoing
treatment.
This is one of the worst case scenarios for
girls who prefer white men as partners. But the allure of a white
husband is intoxicating to the extent that such a case does not deter
Kenyan women from seeking European men.
Susan Wairimu,
also 22, says she has never dated a black man. She is aware of this
story, and though it saddens her, she still believes that her future
lies with a white man. She is convinced that white men make better
husbands than their black counterparts.
Black men just
do not fit the profile of the partner she is hunting, she says. She is
very clear about the qualities she wants in a husband, and is not
willing to settle for anything less.
“I grew up in a
typical Kenyan household where there were gender-specific tasks for boys
and girls. Kenyan men believe that house chores are for women while
more macho tasks are for men. That just does not appeal to me at all,”
she says.
BLACK MEN NOT APPEALING
She
detests the gender stereotyping so much that she is completely
uninterested in black men, whom she says have to be convinced to help
out with house chores.
“Sure, I know that there are
Kenyan men who actively participate around the house, but we can all
agree that those are a minority. I don’t have time to look for the 10
per cent who will not stress me out. I would much rather date a white
guy who has a much higher probability of thinking like I do,” she
explains.
But more important for Susan is that she is
physically attracted to white men only, and feels nothing for their
dark-skinned counterparts.
“You love whoever you like,
and I like white men. It is something I have known even before I was a
teenager,” she says amid a chuckle.
Not all white men,
though. Susan is partial to most Europeans except the British, and also
tends to avoid Americans like the plague.
“It has
nothing to do with who Americans or Britons are as a people. I just tend
to be more attracted to Spanish, Italian or French men,” she explains,
saying that she likes a hint of “exoticness” in her partners.
Although she is currently single, Susan has been in her fair share of relationships— the most recent ended two months ago.
“I
was dating a 28-year-old Spanish man for nine months and it was
amazing. He was a genuinely nice person who respected me and treated me
very well. I liked that we would split household chores. He had no
problems cooking or cleaning after me,” she remembers with what sounds
like a tinge of nostalgia.
So why did the relationship end?
NOT READY
“He
was looking for something much more serious. He wanted to settle down,
but I was not ready for that. I am too young for marriage, so we parted
ways,” says Susan.
Stella Mutanu, 24, is engaged to an
Irish man who works and lives in Qatar. Unlike Susan, she has dated
black men as well, but says she did not like the experience.
“My
former boyfriend was Kenyan, and I had known him for a long time. We
went to school together. He stopped making an effort in the relationship
after only a few months. For example, he would cancel dates at the last
minute, with no apology, and generally stopped caring about making me
happy,” she recalls.
For her, the last straw was when
he openly started eyeing other women in her presence and making
disparaging comments about her body, comparing her with other women.
“I
am skinny, so I caught him several times checking out bigger women and
he would say how much he wished I was more like them,” says Stella.
Her white fiancé, she says, is everything her black ex was not.
“Justin
respects me and loves me for me. We have been together for over two
years now and he treats me even better than he did when we started
dating,” she says.
“Before I met him, I had heard from
friends that white men are much nicer than black men in the way they
treat their partners. I have experienced it for myself and I have no
regrets!”
Once they get married, the couple plans to settle down in Doha, Qatar, where Justin works, before eventually moving to Ireland.
Stella
admits that a long-distance relationship is challenging but they keep
the spark alive by communicating every day and by Justin visiting as
often as he can.
“He has met my family and they love him, my mum, especially. I love that I have my family’s approval,” she enthuses.
On
the flip side, at 40, Justin is considerably older than Stella. She
says the age gap was initially a big problem for her, but with time, she
has come to accept it.
WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR
“He is mature— definitely the kind of man I was looking for after breaking up with my former boyfriend,” she says.
Margaret Njeri, 27, is also engaged to a much older man. Her fiancé is 58.
She says she got a lot of resistance from her family and friends when she came clean about the relationship.
“They
criticised my relationship, with some assuming I was only with him for
the money. Most have come around now and accepted it, but there are
those who have kept their distance,” she says.
The three women admit that being with their men in social places has seen them face unfair judgment as “gold-diggers”.
“A random man on the street once called me malaya (prostitute) just because I was walking with my then boyfriend,” says Susan.
She also says that her boyfriend would get a lot of attention from other girls whenever they went to clubs or restaurants.
“It
was very weird, the way they would swarm all over him, flirting with
him. He was a good man, though, he would always ask them to back off,”
she says. Margaret’s experiences are similar. She has encountered
societal prejudice whenever she goes out with her fiancé.
“Most people assume I am with him for his money, but it is because I love him,” she declares.
No comments :
Post a Comment