Good parenting aids smooth successions in family ventures

Uruguay forward Luis Suarez (right) reacting after clashing with Italy’s defender Giorgio Chiellini during a Group D football match between Italy and Uruguay at the Dunas Arena in Natal during the 2014 FIFA World Cup. AFP 

By Peter Mutua

In Summary

• Leaders of family business should recognise that they have the power to make decisions on behalf of their children that will shape their future
• They should not base the decisions on expediency, cost cutting or personal convenience.
• Each decision should be based on a family purpose statement and with the intention of guiding each child to achieving their God-given life purpose.

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible

 

During the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, what turned out to be a spectacular display of parenting gone wrong, Luis Suarez, Uruguay’s foremost centre forward, quite literally fell upon Italian Giorgio Chiellini. A bite on the opponent’s shoulder in an unprovoked attack propelled Suarez to the news headlines more so when it became known that this was not the first time he had so vented out his frustrations against a rival.

Suarez was neither the first nor the most prominent personality to exhibit such behaviour in public. On June 28, 1997 during the “Sound and Fury” fight, Mike Tyson bit off a one-inch section of Evander Holyfield’s ear in what was one of the most bizarre boxing matches in history. Tyson excused his behaviour claiming that he bit Holyfield out of frustration for head-butts inflicted on him during the bout.

Sadly, neither Suarez nor Tyson were seriously admonished for their behaviour apart from being banned for a few months and losing the match by disqualification respectively.

Some prominent personalities, first among them being the Uruguay President Jose ‘Pepe’ Mujica, publicly defended Suarez stating that “we didn’t choose him to be a philosopher, a mechanic, or to have good manners. He’s an excellent soccer player,” making Uruguay one of the only countries on earth to endorse poor parenting as a national value.

Research has found that children’s character is formed within the first three years of their lives with critical milestones being reached within the first seven months of infancy. If this is true then signs of Suarez’s and Tyson’s problems were evident long before they could walk or express themselves coherently.

As a result, leaders of family business should be deliberately involved in the lives of their children, especially in the formative stages of their lives. They should carefully consider each and every decision regarding the children from the helper who is engaged to take care of them to the homes the child is allowed to visit and to the schools which their children attend.

On no account should male or female leaders of family business completely abdicate all parenting responsibilities to house helps or the role of education and upbringing to school teachers. Under no circumstances should schools or recreational activities be chosen purely on the basis of cost.

All parents should be consciously involved in everything that has the potential to have a long term effect on their children. Families should have purpose statements upon which major decisions that affect parents and children are based.

Taking into account the gravity of their responsibilities should prompt parents in family business to carefully study their children, identify their talents, gifts and abilities so that they select the schools and activities that best propel each child towards achieving their mission in life.

In the formative stages of development, all decisions that affect a person’s or institution’s life are made on their behalf by people who should have their best interests at heart. While there is a temptation to deal casually with such decisions, leaders of family business should recognise the gravity of the implications of these decisions upon their family members and on the venture itself.

Unwise business leaders make decisions based on expediency and immediate convenience without due consideration of the future consequences. As a result, they tend to be haphazard and unpredictable with future results of their decisions remaining random or uncertain.

Far-sighted leaders have the ability to look ahead and carefully consider the possible impact of their decisions on their family members or business ventures and make wise decisions.

Mr Mutua is a Humphrey Fellow and a leadership development consultant focused on family businesses.
Email: p.m.mutua@googlemail.com