How to identify and deal with gambling

A gambler at a casino. Gambling disorder affects people across all professions and social classes. FILE 

By DR FRANK NJENGA

Q. In the last three years, a friend of mine has been travelling to Dubai and China on “business” trips. But I realised recently that he owes many people, including me, lots of cash and is borrowing to sustain his perceived big business, which I think is not bringing in enough money.

He owes three of our mutual friends more than Sh150,000 and I feel like confronting him and asking him to stop living a lie and stop bringing Chinese phones that are sinking him into debt. Please advise me on what to tell him in a polite way.

At the end of an afternoon of golf, many players meet at hole number 19 (the club house) and over some drinks, (alcohol and non-alcoholic) spend variable lengths of time settling their bets.

In a sense, many golfers go to play golf to enjoy the fresh air, exercise and in general to socialise away from office and family.

The action of gambling or making bets at the beginning of the game, is an act of adding a little excitement to the game, and as many have pointed out, to encourage the golfer to better concentrate on his game.

At the end of the day, the loser(s) pays the winner the agreed amount, and in return, the winner buys the loser the first drink. In most cases and over several weeks playing together the golfers end up even and nobody really ever makes or loses any money “gambling” on the golf course in this scenario.

There are however a number of high stake golfers, for whom golf is serious business, and who will not play golf with people whose stakes are “like playing for buttons”.

For them, taking bets means playing for tens of thousands of shillings, and in a few cases, hundreds of thousands of shillings exchange hands in an afternoon!

Both groups are golfers, both take bets involving money, but one group shows some features of a gambling disorder, while the other does not. The difference between these two groups of golfers is critical to our understanding of your friend. In the formal definition of the term gambling disorder, we find the term “chasing ones’ losses”.

The term “chaser” is commonly used by those who bet heavily on the golf course. In “chasing” a person who is losing at that point in the game raises the stakes in the hope that he will reduce his loses or even end up winning more money.

Let me, however, state clearly that the amount bet is NOT the indicator as to whether one has a gambling disorder or not, as there are other criteria as we see below.

Gambling disorder does not respect profession or social class and we have seen the high and mighty come crumbling down in a mountain of debt, just like your friend is doing to you and his other friends!

 

Whereas it is possible that your friend is a poor businessman who keeps losing money in Dubai and China, he seems to be behaving like a pathological gambler that is one who continues to gamble, even when it is clear that he is making greater and greater losses!

Sadly, for some gamblers, greater and greater amounts of money are required to give the same level of “excitement”.

Additionally, and it is possible this could be happening to your friend, any attempt to stop or cut down could be leading to irritability and restlessness. Perhaps he moves from friend to friend to avoid “advice” from you and others.