Idi Amin is the new cool, all we need now is an Anti-Slipper Act

 

By Joachim Buwembo

Christmas is a time of family reunion, forgiveness and starting afresh. It is therefore fitting that during this festive season, our parliament in Uganda has decided to reconcile with some of the tough policies of our departed leader, Field Marshall Idi Amin Dada, which for many years were castigated as draconian.

So for our Christmas present, the MPs gave us back Amin’s dress code, and outlawed the miniskirt as he had done by decree 40 years ago.

So as soon as the president appends his signature, it will be criminal for a female person to wear anything that does not cover her knees. Long live Idi Amin Dada.

Why many of Idi Amin’s edicts fell by the way side is because he did not have a properly constituted parliament to put them in nice legal language and link them to big documents like the Penal Code and the Constitution. Now finally parliament is doing it.

In the same festive season, the parliament has also passed a tough law that will lock away people found guilty of homosexual activities for life. Good old Idi must be smiling in his grave under the Saudi Arabian sand.

But back to the dress code. Some Aminist decrees  have stood the test of time, like the by-law for Kampala passed by one of his military governors outlawing wearing slippers in town. To date, you do not find anybody wearing slippers in Kampala.

The military had a simple penalty for slipper wearing — just slice up the slippers and feed them to you. A diet of processed rubber is not fancied by many, so no Ugandan, including the majority who were not yet born at the time the slipper decree was issued 40 years ago, dares wear slippers in town. Anytime soon, expect parliament to enact the Anti-Slipper Act.

Many people are angry at the passing of the law that outlaws minis. By the way, it is couched among other important things to do with fighting pornography and protecting morals. But social media is awash only with the miniskirts.

It seems the angry people are not bothered with the role of Literature and Media in corrupting the morals of the young, but they are mad that they will not be allowed to see or show enough skin. And this time, the men are as angry as the women. But has there even been a law that is popular with the offenders?

There are, of course, some phenomena that were not abundant in Amin’s days but which our MPs today need to address the same way they have done the miniskirt. Take the plastic bottles and plastic shopping bags locally called kaveera.

These are easily the biggest menace to our environment (and therefore our health) today. The kaveera is definitely more dangerous to Ugandans than miniskirts. We borrow millions and millions of dollars just to clear the Nakivubo Channel, which is Kampala’s natural drainage.

However, even before the work is finished, the Channel gets choked by kaveera and plastic bottles. Meetings have been held by ministers of the five East African countries over the kaveera menace and Rwanda moved to outlaw it. Uganda’s MPs should treat kaveera like minis, even more urgently.

Joachim Buwembo is a Knight International Fellow for development journalism. E-mail: buwembo@gmail.com