Wednesday, November 6, 2013

No, thank you, I refuse to stay down

Esther's daughter Faith Wanjiku.
By MAUREEN KAKAH
More by this Author
Like millions of Kenyans all over the country, Esther Mungai was watching television in her house in Kakamega town in Western Province, expectantly waiting for the results of the 2007 General Election.
It was about 9 a.m. and she was with two of her three children, George Thuo and Faith Wanjiru, then 20 and nine years respectively.
Their house help, who had worked for them for four years, had just returned from the shop when they heard people shouting, “Sifa Kwa Yesu! Pack and go!”
Esther, a high school teacher, was also a business woman and owned two matatus christened Sifa Kwa Yesu (Glory to Jesus). The voices were frighteningly close and she knew that if she and her family did not leave immediately, they would all die.
That dark day was December 29, 2007.
Before she could act, George, her second born, said, “Mum you will not die.”
He then shepherded them out of the house and helped her and Faith scale the perimeter wall. All they had were the clothes they were wearing.
When Esther and her husband built the family home, they had fortified the wall with broken pieces of glass to deter thieves.
By the time she dropped to safety on the other side, Esther had unsightly cuts on her face, deep bruises on her elbows and chest, and had lost all her finger and toe nails.
She says it was total chaos outside and in the confusion, she was separated from her children and house help.
For two weeks, Esther had no idea where her children were or even whether they were alive.

'LONGEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE'
“Those were the longest two weeks of my life. It is amazing that I did not die of worry,” she says.
Esther says police rescued her and took her to the Kakamega General Hospital, where she was admitted for nearly a month.
“I was mentally confused and fearful. I was so traumatised, I imagined that the dedicated doctors and nurses treating me would poison me,” she says.
She would later learn that her three-bedroom house was ransacked before it was set ablaze. Also burnt to the ground were her two matatus as well as the family car, which had been in the compound.
The rental houses that she had put up in an adjacent compound were also set ablaze, although the mob allowed the tenants to salvage their belongings before setting the buildings on fire.
Just like that, a fortune that had taken 20 years to build was reduced to ashes.
Esther and her husband, Stanley Mungai, who died in 2001, had lived in Kakamega since the 1980s and in their home for 16 years.
She says besides her rural home in Nyeri, she knew no other home and, being a teacher (she taught chemistry at Kakamega High School), she was known to many of her neighbours.
Never in her wildest dreams, therefore, could she have imagined that people she probably knew and interacted with would destroy her home and everything she had worked so hard for.

'IT HURT BEYOND WORDS'
For some time, Kakamega police station became her home as she prayed for the senseless killings and destruction to come to an end.
“We could only wait and hope since there was nothing we could do. There is nothing worse than helplessness,” she says.
In spite of the desolate circumstances, the strong and positive character that she is, Esther made it her business to encourage others who had lost their homes, assuring them that all was not lost.
“They thought I was mad,” she laughs.
It was not until February the following year that Esther and her children were finally able to travel to Nyeri, the only place they could seek refuge. Thankfully, her house help had found her way back to her Busia home.
Unknown to Esther, her mother had been told that she and the children had not survived the violence, news that affected her so much that she fell ill.
“Even though she was relieved to find out that we were alive, she did not regain her health and eventually died in January 2009,” says Esther.
Her first born, Charles Mungai, who was studying medicine in the US when the chaos broke out, took a break from his studies and travelled back home to be with his family.
Since there was no home to go back to, Esther transferred Faith to a school in Nyeri while George, who had just completed secondary school, went to live with friends.
This fragmentation of her family disturbed Esther, but it was the best she could do at that time.
Meanwhile, she sought a transfer from the Teachers Service Commission, determined to start her life afresh. She was posted to Nkurumeinya Secondary School in Ongata Rongai in March 2008.

NEW LIFE
She says that starting over was not easy, not only because she was in a new environment, but because she did not have a place to stay.
There was also the fact that, try as she might, she was unable to put the trauma she had suffered behind her.
While she could afford to push it to the back of her mind during the day, her sleepless nights were a torture and she wondered if she would manage to rebuild her life.
At her lowest point, a friend who knew about her loss invited her to live in her disused house in Rongai until she got back on her feet.
“I could hardly believe it. I will always be grateful to this friend for offering me a place to live for more than a year,” says Esther.
She adds, “When you are helpless, when you have reached a dead end, there is often someone who is willing to help you and ease your pain. My experience taught me never to take friendship for granted.”
ANGELS IN DISGUISE
Besides this good friend who came to her aid in her time of need, Esther, who was then the vice-chairperson of the Kakamega branch of the Kenya Red Cross Society, is grateful to the organisation’s secretary general, Abbas Gullet, who sent her a cheque when he learnt of her misfortune, as well as the principal at her new school, Jeremiah Mwangi, who has been understanding and even allowed her time off to recover before reporting to work.
Besides teaching, Esther is also a multi-level marketer, a job she does in her free time and during interaction with others. It is one she especially recommends for young people and those in school or looking for a job.
“Don’t wait to get employed. You have the advantage of being energetic and in good health. Don’t just sit and do nothing, work,” she says.
Esther’s second born, George, is now at the University of Nairobi while Faith just joined Meru University of Science and Technology.
Things are, indeed, looking up for Esther, who is even building a new home.
“I had vowed that I would never build a house again, convinced that I would not be strong enough to deal with it should someone burn down my home a second time, but I realised that I cannot afford to live in fear. I realised that it is important for me to deal with what happened and move on,” she says, adding that her mother, before she died, encouraged her to build a new home.
Though it has taken time, Esther has finally come to terms with her loss and even forgiven those who destroyed everything she had.
“Yes, I lost everything, but I stopped asking why it happened. What matters is that with God’s strength and the love of true friends, I have managed to pick myself up and make a new life for myself.”
She adds, “I thought I had it all figured out, that I had my life and my children’s future all mapped out, but I realise that sometimes God has other plans for us and that He will give us the grace to accept them. Out of all this, forgiveness was my big lesson,” she says.
Esther believes that God has much more in store for her than what she lost, and because of this, she will give this chapter of her life the best shot.
She has advice for you: “Don’t waste your energy fighting for what is lost, focus on the present. Make use of what you have, learn new skills, and change to adapt to your new environment.”

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