Internet addiction real, look out for warning signs

An addict sometimes uses the Internet to escape from reality or feelings of guilt. Photo/FILE 

By Dr Frank Njenga

Posted  Tuesday, May 7  2013 at  16:54

In Summary

• Internet addiction or other forms of obsession are often a cry for help by the child, not only from their own problems but often about many other issues.

My 16-year-old daughter has become a computer and Facebook addict. Every day when she is free, especially now during her holidays, she is either on computer chatrooms or on Facebook.

I have refused to buy her any more credit and removed the computer from her room. I know this has irritated her, but I think it was the best I could do. Please advise.

------------------------------------

A few years ago, former World Number One golfer, Tiger Woods, was reportedly treated at a famous rehabilitation centre for addiction to sex. When this hit the news headlines, many people asked me if one can get addicted to sex. Some thought that this was a mere creation of the Western media to destroy a top black golfer. Others thought it was a wonderful addiction!

The truth is that there are many types of well-recognised clinical addictions, including sex, gambling food, shopping and chemicals of all types.

Put simply, the use of any substance or involvement in any activity for which there is a loss of impulse control, leading to the damage or avoidance of other activities of daily life could lead to a diagnosis of addiction.

In the case of Mr Woods, the media suggested that he was so occupied with multiple sexual activities that both his marriage and his golf suffered and eventually both collapsed!

These are unconfirmed media reports, not clinical records. They nonetheless enable us to look at your daughters’ addiction to the Internet.

First, I must confirm your fear–there is a clinical condition known as Internet addiction, and yes we have in the last few years seen many young men and women who have suffered a great deal from this addiction. It is therefore wise to seek expert advice on the condition.

 

As with all other addictions, the key components to the diagnosis are to be found in the excessive, impulsive nature of the activity.

 

Like alcohol, Internet use in moderation is generally safe and harmless. But for a significant and growing minority, particularly the young, addiction is a serious challenge as illustrated by your daughter.

It is for this reason that we must now look at some important facts around the subject.

There are several types of Internet addictions. Some involve cyber sexual activities, cyber relationships and gambling. Other users are addicted to surfing and doing data searches. Children are in particular addicted to games, including following science fiction. Social media addiction has also been reported.

It sounds as if your daughter might be addicted to cyber-relationships, social
 

 

Has she neglected her friends, spiritual wellbeing, hobbies and school work to the extent that teachers and friends are complaining. Is she disobedient, rude and moody? Put simply, has your daughter changed fundamentally.

Internet addiction or other forms of obsession are often a cry for help by the child, not only from their own problems but often about many other issues.

Some will become addicted because they have academic difficulties, while others face challenges in relationships with boys.

Others fall into the habit because they have a primary depressive illness (very common in teenagers) or due to anxiety or some other mental disorders which must be treated first, before the addiction.

Family problems are however the most common cause of addiction to the Internet, as the teenager withdraws to his room to escape the tension and anxiety he sees between family members.

A few months ago we saw a 17-year-old who became addicted to the Internet after she discovered that her mother was having an affair with her church member. The shame and scandal of this affair was overwhelming for the poor child.

Rather than tell on her mother, the girl who had stumbled on the affair while using her mother’s laptop withdrew from all aspects of her life and spent long hours on the Internet.

In therapy she confessed that the impersonal nature of cyber-relationships enabled her discuss freely her mother’s affair, without hurting her father, siblings or even the church.

She was brought to us because of a steady deterioration in her school performance, mood changes and marked social withdrawal. As with all other addictions, you must confront the situation and do something about it fast media or both.

 

 

Even as you seek help from experts, see if you can spot these behaviours. Is there a change in her eating and sleeping habits? Does she, for example, stay up all night and sleep by day? How about social withdrawal and avoidance of her friends and family to be in her room with her computer.