As much as age does not matter, at the age of 23, you need to address
these ideas together. For example, what makes you feel meant for each
other? This is key to any relationship that is to lead to a lasting
marriage. PHOTO | FILE
Dear Kitoto,
I
am 23 and so is my boyfriend. I have introduced him to my parents and
have also met his. I am comfortable with him and he is also comfortable
with me. My friends and some of my family members keep telling me that
because of our age, we can’t make it in marriage, their reason being
“tutasumbuana”. Does age really matter? Please advise.
Njeri
Hi,
Marriage
is not a walk in the park. It requires more than a feeling of closeness
and a promise to live with each other with a commitment to the ideals
of marriage. The two of you are at an age where you might need to first
address these ideals and see just how ready you are.
As
much as age does not matter, at the age of 23, you need to address
these ideas together. For example, what makes you feel meant for each
other? This is key to any relationship that is to lead to a lasting
marriage. Second is whether you share certain key issues like values or
vision. If these are divergent, then it is likely that you will differ
on many other issues. Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed.
Having
said that, forming a trusting and positive relationship takes effort
and time. Age might not really be an issue as far as you are concerned,
but unfortunately, marriage doesn’t just happen overnight. For any
relationship to grow and remain strong, you need to put in some work.
You must engage each other in areas such as disclosure, which involves
deep communication; discernment, which requires a level of empathy; and
listening, which enables one to walk with their partner emotionally. So,
it could be that the fears of those close to you are genuine and for
your own good. Maybe can see a level of immaturity and the need for you
to grow up that will help you avoid fights in the future.
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