Does age really matter?

As much as age does not matter, at the age of 23, you need to address these ideas together. For example, what makes you feel meant for each other? This is key to any relationship that is to lead to a lasting marriage. PHOTO | FILE 

In Summary

• Having said that, forming a trusting and positive relationship takes effort and time. Age might not really be an issue as far as you are concerned, but unfortunately, marriage doesn’t just happen overnight.

By PHILIP KITOTO
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Dear Kitoto,

I am 23 and so is my boyfriend. I have introduced him to my parents and have also met his. I am comfortable with him and he is also comfortable with me. My friends and some of my family members keep telling me that because of our age, we can’t make it in marriage, their reason being “tutasumbuana”. Does age really matter? Please advise.

Njeri

Hi,

Marriage is not a walk in the park. It requires more than a feeling of closeness and a promise to live with each other with a commitment to the ideals of marriage. The two of you are at an age where you might need to first address these ideals and see just how ready you are.

As much as age does not matter, at the age of 23, you need to address these ideas together. For example, what makes you feel meant for each other? This is key to any relationship that is to lead to a lasting marriage. Second is whether you share certain key issues like values or vision. If these are divergent, then it is likely that you will differ on many other issues. Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed.

Having said that, forming a trusting and positive relationship takes effort and time. Age might not really be an issue as far as you are concerned, but unfortunately, marriage doesn’t just happen overnight. For any relationship to grow  and remain strong, you need to put in some work. You must engage each other in areas such as disclosure, which involves deep communication; discernment, which requires a level of empathy; and listening, which enables one to walk with their partner emotionally. So, it could be that the fears of those close to you are genuine and for your own good. Maybe can see a level of immaturity and the need for you to grow up that will help you avoid fights in the future.