How to have life-changing conversations with yourself

By Sriram Bharatam

In Summary

• Talk yourself into being helpful every day in some way or the other.

When was the last time you had a conversation? No, not with your family or with your business associates.

Not even with your client or friends, but with yourself? Many people think it is not normal to talk to oneself. In fact, the society considers conversations with oneself insane.

And this pushes anyone who wants to have a conversation with self to feel uncomfortable or even abnormal about it. There are several reasons and situations for someone to have a conversation with their self.

Sometimes this conversation with the inner self becomes the best guide for one’s action. Remember the last time you were struggling to make a decision, were all confused and unable to have a way forward on something important, then you heard a faint voice from within which guided you to make the right choice?

Having a conversation with oneself is neither a disease nor a disorder. In fact sometimes one finds oneself in a situation where the only person who can understand them is oneself.

When done in the right manner and time, it can be the best guide one could ever have and can even boost your productivity, in life and business.

You may even ask why you should bother with these conversations when you are excellent at business communication. The answer is simple.

You can discover a lot about yourself while doing this. You can tell yourself a lot of things that you don’t already know or realise that you know.

In fact, successful entrepreneurs often have life-changing conversations with themselves which reflects in their work. Here are a few conversations that you could have with yourself:

Talk about the force that drives you — you may not have realised it yet

You will realise your passion and how strongly you feel about it only when you talk to yourself about it. Lukewarm sentiments will not work as a guiding force to take you to the top.

If you are really looking at driving more meaning into your life, start talking to yourself about your passion and then invest time in it. Remember, you don’t need to depend on someone else to start doing something.

It is your life and it is your passion. You should make the first move. Many successful entrepreneurs have spoken to themselves about their ideas and desires. Affirmation that came out of those thoughts helped them take off.

Tell yourself how much little achievements matter

Most of us set high end goals for ourselves and like to settle for nothing less. Thus, anything smaller than those set goals does not seem worth celebrating or getting excited for

However, this is not what successful entrepreneurs do. They believe in acknowledging all the little achievements because they pile up and help them achieve their ultimate goal.

Talk to yourself about how you achieved something today and be happy about it. The happiness that you will get out of this conversation will positively change your life because it will act as a motivating factor to achieve more.

Sacrifices are part of life

When you think of a goal and how to achieve it, you should be meticulous and specific. In other words, thinking of too many things and talking to yourself about all of them will leave you in no man’s land and full of confusion.

This will in turn decrease your productivity because you are now scared to take another step. Instead, tell yourself that in order to achieve a bigger goal you must be specific and concentrate on the goal.

In this process you may have to sacrifice a few things including other goals. You may have a picture of your life five or 10 years down the line, but are you willing to sacrifice a few things to get there? Talk to yourself and dedicate time to the thought and you will find answers.

Repeat to yourself that kindness is a virtue

Being helpful and spreading happiness can change your life for better because nothing beats the satisfaction of giving. Talk yourself into being helpful every day in some way or the other.

Sriram is the founder and chief mentor of Kuza Biashara Limited, a capacity building organisation which coaches youths and SME owners in Kenya. He also chairs Entrepreneurs’ Organisation for Africa.

You can reach him on sri@kuzabiashara.co.ke and via twitter @Sbharatam