This past week on Wednesday, I spent an evening with a group of career
women at a Nairobi hotel who wanted to hear me speak on the subject of
work-life balance. PHOTO| FILE
This past week on Wednesday, I spent an evening with a group of
career women at a Nairobi hotel who wanted to hear me speak on the
subject of work-life balance.
I assured them that I was
no guru, only a work in progress, a woman trying to do the best she can
everyday and praying that it was enough.
But
it was their personal stories of juggling work, children, relationships
and their health that got to me. Some spoke of sending a child to the
doctors with a nanny because they couldn’t get a day off work. Others
were juggling several businesses just to stay ahead financially and meet
their goals.
I realised then that working women, particularly if they are mothers, still get the short end of the stick.
They
have attained that great feminist ideal of climbing the corporate
ladder, and doing everything a man can do but the only issue is they
still have another full time job that they never really relinquished.
Most people, including women themselves often underplay just what it
takes to keep an office job, a home running, the children and spouse
happy.
Looking at all those women, it
hit me that what they all needed was a wife or two, as Judy Brady so
famously penned in 1972 in Ms Magazine.
So
if you are a working mother, single or married, don’t feel guilty for
thinking it: you need a wife equivalent. That person must have high
organisational skills while still being able to multitask with the
dexterity of a circus juggler.
Back
then, Ms Brady wrote: “I want a wife who will work and send me to
school. And while I am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my
children.
I want a wife to keep
track of the children’s doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep
track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly
and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes
and keep them mended.
I want a wife
who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their
schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their
peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc.
Needless to say
“I
want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife
who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because,
of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to
lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my
wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that.
Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the
children while I am working.
“I want
a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will
keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife
who will pick up after me.
I want a
wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need
be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their
proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it.
I
want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a
wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare
the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I
do my studying.
I want a wife who
will care for me when I am sick and sympathise with my pain and loss of
time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a
vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children
when I need a rest and change of scene.
I
want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a
wife’s duties…” Enough said. So today let’s just take our hats off to
every working mother in this nation.
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