Why you should pursue ideals instead of chasing after goals

A goal is a target you set to reach within a specified time frame while an ideal is a personal vision of the best possible outcome. PHOTO | FILE 

By SERAPHINE RULIGIRWA-KAMARA

There is a big difference between goals and ideals. A goal is a target you set to reach within a specified time frame. You thus need to make adjustments in yourself if you are to achieve it, like saving up money or influencing the involvement of others.

Picture a darts board that you need to aim at. The board just sits pretty on the wall. You on the other hand must make the effort to dart it just at the right point to win.

An ideal on the other hand is a personal vision of the best possible thing, person or situation that deserves to be in your possession, presence or circles.

Picture a beautiful dream of whatever suits your fancy that effortlessly floats into your mind while you sleep. Notice the difference?
Getting a better job is a goal. Losing weight is a goal. Making more money is a goal.

Many of us run around doing impressive mileage chasing the wrong things. Wanting to get a better job, fit within a specific dress size or record an impressive bank balance are not strong enough endeavours to ignite the fire in us to go the full hog on our underlying desires.

Thus when the little processes of achieving them become a little hard, slow or unexciting, we quickly give up and find comfortable and convincing excuses to explain our lack of achievement.

We instead take on telling the all-too-common tales: “I do not have the right qualifications”. “It’s in the genes, you know; my whole family is big bodied”. “I do not have the money to invest”. “Clients take too long to pay”. The list goes on.

Do you see how those new year resolutions remain as resolutions? We do not go all the way through to enjoy the fruition of our goals because our goals are really just side-effects of the real stuff that we are aiming for. Ideals are the name of the personal leadership growth game.

Ideals are deep. They are what you actually care about.

Anyone can tell you what you want because they will presumptuously base it on what they themselves want. But that will often be untenable because it is an imposition of someone else’s programming on you.

This is the reason people often think, “Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?” as a common objection to advice even when it is not verbalised.

All the rules, norms and acceptable ways of being are someone else’s creation. Save for a tiny percentage, all the people around you are conditioned to execute other people’s acceptable ways of being.

Let’s take a few of these for a spin: “African culture dictates that women eat in the kitchen after the men and children have had their fill”, “Good wine is not sweet”, “Red wine is best drank at room temperature”, “Men don’t cook or cry”... Feel free to add more.

It is the year 2015. Why would I allow the opinions of people who had no idea about the life I would live today to dictate how I live it? In my house, with my family, eating my food, I will eat anywhere – from the stove, to the stairs and all the spaces I please along the way.

If I spend my money buying a bottle of wine as my chosen refreshment to enjoy in my space, where does this unanointed person get the right to dictate how I drink it?

Think about the thoughts you entertain, the feelings they spur and consequently the actions and inactions that you are engaged in on any given day. What a limited existence we allow other people to impose on us yet we are aware that our possibilities are without end.

Now what you desire is a totally different matter. No one on earth can purport to tell you what that is. It is not a verbal conversation you can have with anyone.

It is an inaudible monologue borne out of long, patient and sustained effort in self education. It is introspection; the personal process of finding meaning in our lives and articulating our purpose.

Practising good nutrition, nurturing good health and doing meaningful work that resonates with your purpose are ideals that make the aforementioned goals unnecessary.

You inevitably maintain a healthy body weight and naturally deliver outstanding output that people will pay your asking price for.

Which will it be for you; goal or ideal?

Seraphine Ruligirwa-Kamara is an expert on attitude and human potential. Email: sera@iuponline.com. | @SRuligirwa