What is the ideal way to attain marital bliss

Is marriage fashionable? What if one decides to be celibate. What is  the ideal way to attain marital  bliss? Divorce is pathetic; what are its  root causes? PHOTO | FILE 

In Summary

• Being celibate, whether for personal or religious reasons should be embraced positively if it is to provide the desired focused devotional life expected. Historically, some people treat women as inferior, making them feel oppressed.
• However, marriage, if it is to be blissful for the parties involved, must be based on the right reasons. This must be followed by commitment, as well as the desire to be responsible and the need to be faithful to your partner. Partners who keep secrets allow suspicion and lack of trust to creep in.

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By PHILIP KITOTO
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Let me say that  I thoroughly enjoy reading your columns.

Now, I would like to ask: Is marriage fashionable? What if one decides to be celibate. What is  the ideal way to attain marital  bliss? Divorce is pathetic; what are its  root causes?

Alnashir D Walji

Hi,

Many people do not marry for personal or religious reasons. No one should force themselves, or be forced, to marry. Marriage is a decision one makes knowing very well that it comes with responsibility. There are many reasons people get married, such as pressure from family and friends, being in love, it being the logical thing to do, trying to beat the  biological clock, the desire to  have sex and children, fear of being alone,  the need for some form of security, and cultural and parental expectations. Sadly, some of these reasons are driven by selfishness.

Being celibate, whether for personal or religious reasons should be embraced positively if it is to provide the desired focused devotional life expected. Historically, some people treat women as inferior, making them feel oppressed. Sadly, even in contemporary marriages, some women feel they have been caused to stagnate in their careers by their partners and are instead tied to housework and child care. This is one reason some women prefer to remain single.

However, marriage, if it is to be blissful for the parties involved, must be based on the right reasons. This must be followed by commitment, as well as the desire to be responsible and the need to be faithful to your partner. Partners who keep secrets allow suspicion and lack of trust to creep in. Disclosure in a relationship enhances intimacy and creates a blissful atmosphere.

“Romance” and “adventure” are not a “tags” but core elements of a growing and committed relationship. A couple must commit to invest in each other and  work together to build the same value system and perspective on issues. A couple that works on their areas of agreement is guaranteed to make their marriage a blissful experience.

Indeed, divorce is a tough transition in life. For some spouses, it leaves a scar that remains a permanent reminder of the pain the divorce caused. Children also experience pain which parents sometimes never help to heal. Some children  decide never to marry as a result, while others end up divorcing like their parents did, particularly where healing was not complete.