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Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Marry when you deem it fit but single life can be shorter


Studies show that social isolation increases risk of dying by about three times, but intimacy and closeness improve quality of life and lower chances of premature death. PHOTO | FILE 
By BONIFACE NGAHU
In Summary
  • Generally, being single is actually enjoyable given that one has the freedom to do whatever they choose. But prolonged singlehood can lead to self-destructive behaviours that lower life expectancy, especially among men.

Recently I met an old friend at a local joint where I was having a drink. After having a drink or two, my friend asked the waiter for the menu to order chips funga (take-away food). After ordering chicken and fries, the man said: Hii ubachelor itaniuwa (being a bachelor will kill me).
This opened a can of worms in terms of whether being a bachelor can actually kill. During the Standard Chartered Nairobi Marathon, I ran in the company of two women who were discussing their husbands. One was unhappy that her husband did not approve of her decision to participate in the marathon, about which she concluded she married a stupid man.
Let’s examine what it means to be a bachelor and related challenges.
Support system
Generally, being single is actually enjoyable given that one has the freedom to do whatever they choose. But prolonged singlehood can lead to self-destructive behaviours that lower life expectancy, especially among men. Lack of a good support system is possibly one of the contributors to the risks of being a bachelor.
Des Cummings and Monica Reed, the authors of Creation Health: Secrets for feeling Fit and Living Long, offer some insights on this phenomenon. They also quote Winnie the Pooh, “You can’t have too many friends or too much honey.”
In the book, they indicate that there is scientific support for inter-personal relationships. They state that if you have more friends you are less likely to catch a cold. This is based on Dr Cohen’s findings at Carnegie Mellon University.
The findings also show that in the event that one comes up with a cold, the severity and duration of symptoms are less if one has lots of social contacts. The indication here is that social isolation is bad for your health.
A study among women with breast cancer found that those who belong to psychosocial support groups live significantly longer than those without. This is also supported by other studies that have found social isolation to increase risk of dying from all causes by about three times.
In the US, a certain society in Pennsylvania was found to be the healthiest in the country because of having close social ties where they frequently have dinner together. This discovery can also add credence to Nyumba Kumi initiative that the Health secretary should take note of.
The book above also quotes author Dean Ornish— a doctor known for reversing heart diseases— who expressed lack of awareness of any other factor in medicine other than intimacy that has greater impact on quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death from all causes.
Ornish views loneliness and isolation as causes of harmful behaviours like smoking and overeating. Ornish concluded that anything promoting love and intimacy is also healing. University of California studies found that loneliness can increase risk of heart conditions by three times with emotional support is enough to reduce the risk.
This also means that it is not just the quantity of our relationships but quality also counts with most nurturing happening when we take time to form the bond. As Warren Buffet said, “some things take time, you can’t have a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.”
The above evidence suggests that being a bachelor can actually kill or accelerate your speed to the grave. The opposite may also apply; a short message in social media suggests that marriage is a prison as illustrated in comedy acts by Kansiime. The message suggests that you should choose your jailer wisely for best results.
The writer is the marketing director of SBO Research.

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