Studies show that social isolation increases risk of dying by about
three times, but intimacy and closeness improve quality of life and
lower chances of premature death. PHOTO | FILE
By BONIFACE NGAHU
In Summary
- Generally, being single is actually enjoyable given that one has the freedom to do whatever they choose. But prolonged singlehood can lead to self-destructive behaviours that lower life expectancy, especially among men.
Recently I met an old friend at a local joint where I
was having a drink. After having a drink or two, my friend asked the
waiter for the menu to order chips funga (take-away food). After
ordering chicken and fries, the man said: Hii ubachelor itaniuwa (being a
bachelor will kill me).
This opened a can of worms in terms of whether being a
bachelor can actually kill. During the Standard Chartered Nairobi
Marathon, I ran in the company of two women who were discussing their
husbands. One was unhappy that her husband did not approve of her
decision to participate in the marathon, about which she concluded she
married a stupid man.
Let’s examine what it means to be a bachelor and related challenges.
Support system
Generally, being single is actually enjoyable given
that one has the freedom to do whatever they choose. But prolonged
singlehood can lead to self-destructive behaviours that lower life
expectancy, especially among men. Lack of a good support system is
possibly one of the contributors to the risks of being a bachelor.
Des Cummings and Monica Reed, the authors of
Creation Health: Secrets for feeling Fit and Living Long, offer some
insights on this phenomenon. They also quote Winnie the Pooh, “You can’t
have too many friends or too much honey.”
In the book, they indicate that there is scientific
support for inter-personal relationships. They state that if you have
more friends you are less likely to catch a cold. This is based on Dr
Cohen’s findings at Carnegie Mellon University.
The findings also show that in the event that one
comes up with a cold, the severity and duration of symptoms are less if
one has lots of social contacts. The indication here is that social
isolation is bad for your health.
A study among women with breast cancer found that
those who belong to psychosocial support groups live significantly
longer than those without. This is also supported by other studies that
have found social isolation to increase risk of dying from all causes by
about three times.
In the US, a certain society in Pennsylvania was
found to be the healthiest in the country because of having close social
ties where they frequently have dinner together. This discovery can
also add credence to Nyumba Kumi initiative that the Health secretary
should take note of.
The book above also quotes author Dean Ornish— a
doctor known for reversing heart diseases— who expressed lack of
awareness of any other factor in medicine other than intimacy that has
greater impact on quality of life, incidence of illness and premature
death from all causes.
Ornish views loneliness and isolation as causes of
harmful behaviours like smoking and overeating. Ornish concluded that
anything promoting love and intimacy is also healing. University of
California studies found that loneliness can increase risk of heart
conditions by three times with emotional support is enough to reduce the
risk.
This also means that it is not just the quantity of
our relationships but quality also counts with most nurturing happening
when we take time to form the bond. As Warren Buffet said, “some things
take time, you can’t have a baby in one month by impregnating nine
women.”
The above evidence suggests that being a bachelor
can actually kill or accelerate your speed to the grave. The opposite
may also apply; a short message in social media suggests that marriage
is a prison as illustrated in comedy acts by Kansiime. The message
suggests that you should choose your jailer wisely for best results.
The writer is the marketing director of SBO Research.
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