Michelle Obama watches at right as President Barack Obama is sworn in as
the 44th President of the United States during the inauguration
ceremony in Washington, January 20, 2009. Besides recognition, love and
respect the other thing that a man craves most is support from the woman
he loves. PHOTO/FILE
Besides recognition, love and respect the other thing that a man craves most is support from the woman he loves.
He
may have been taught from childhood not to ask for support. This means
that while your man needs you to support him, he may not know how to ask
for it or even how to receive it.
How
you respond to this need may build or kill his dreams. Here are ways
that you can make him feel admired and appreciated without being
condescending;
Know his dreams – It
will be impossible to cheer on your man if you do not know what his
dreams are. When you are getting to know your man, make a point of
finding out his aspirations. Ask him his goals and what he aspires to
be.
Be optimistic – If your man is
halfway through a project, express enthusiasm towards the finished
product. If he is stuck, it’s important he knows that you trust in his
ability to see it through. This kind of support will work as an added
incentive to see what he is working through because he will want to
reward your support. Sometimes his dreams will seem too far-fetched but
even then, do not laugh at them. Let your man dream big.
Prod –
If he is stuck, it is your job not to let him get away with abandoning
the project. While at it, be careful not to cross the line between
urging your man on and insulting his lack of completion. Instead of
labeling him a quitter, the message you should be sending him instead is
that you want him to succeed and that you believe in him. Sometimes
this is best done by doing little things. If he has been aspiring to put
up a structure for instance, you can show your support by buying him a
tool.
His job is his
– Often, women will micro-manage things. When your significant other
shares his work experiences, you may be tempted to react by questioning
his decisions, inserting yourself in situations and offering unsolicited
advice. If your man needs your view on something he will ask for it.
Otherwise, your role as his partner is to support him. Help him relax
after a long day at work, ask how his day was and show interest in his
job. If he wants to talk listen without interrupting. Your confidence in
his ability to be efficient at his job will feed his confidence and
make him a better man both at work and at home.
Take his side –
When your significant other is sure that you are on his side, he will
not be afraid to tell you both the good and the bad things. You can also
show him that you are on his team by cheering him on especially when
other people are present.
Space –
Sometimes, giving a man space to figure things out on his own may be
all the support he needs. Learn to take cues from him that he needs to
be left alone. Being too helpful might on the flipside send him the
message that he is weak and can’t handle issues by himself. Sometimes he
doesn’t want to talk about things that are troubling him. During these
instances, find other ways to cheer him out without bringing up the
troubling issue.
Know when to get him help
– Even when he doesn’t share the intimate details of the issues that
may be stressing him, you should be alert enough to recognise a change
in pattern in the ways in which he deals with stress. It is a bad sign
if he resorts to alcohol, drugs or even violence to deal with the
stress. To be able to support him, you may also need to seek support for
yourself.
It is important that you
do not mistake support for your man with babying him. Talking to him
like a 10-year-old or withholding respect because you feel like he
doesn’t deserve it, will only make him feel like he is weak and like he
cannot do it without you. The dominant message you are supposed to be
sending is that you believe in his ability.
No comments:
Post a Comment